The unpleasant feeling of irritation familiar to all.
When it occurs, why and — most importantly — what to do with it.
Meeting with the inevitable
Irritation appears, if we are faced with something that puts pressure on our sensitive spots. And we begin to react, often too harsh and painful. Irritation turns into anger and can escalate into a huge scandal.
To avoid this, often suggest their dissatisfaction to control. This is not the right strategy. If long time to wear a negative in itself, it will slowly poison you from the inside. The best way to get rid of unpleasant feelings is to try to understand and intelligently Express.
Attention to the needs
Irritation very eloquently. It refers to the needs that are not currently satisfied. For example, you are traveling home from work. Rush hour traffic, confined space, subway or bus, jostling, someone’s awkward movement… Everything about it. What does the irritation? That you are tired. Your safety and comfort are satisfied. You need rest, peace and quiet.
Or another example. Again the husband and kids throw things and leave the dirty dishes in the sink. You get annoyed, get angry, yell at them. At this point look deep into their emotions, and they will tell you what you are missing: perhaps a more warm emotional contact with the family, confidence that you hear, appreciate, respect.
It also happens that it is not only unfulfilled needs. Unpleasant emotional reaction people who are different from you. In the case of a child, for example, can irritate even the mere dissimilarity of temperament: you are an active and fast an adult he was slow, cautious kid. Annoying maybe even the lack of your child’s difficulties that you had at his age: “I’m every new thing had to be earned and my parents to beg, and he full of things, and he doesn’t appreciate”.
If we do something prohibited — for example, openly Express feelings, then those who allow themselves this will inevitably cause negative emotions. If you will be able to see the behavior of others that themselves would never have allowed, it will be easier to accept that everyone is different, and quietly go on their way.
How to deal with it
With irritation not to fight. First you need to understand what it signaled, and try to meet their needs. Then the negativity will go away by itself.
In this case, any negative emotion needs to find a way out. Describe the feelings (“I’m very angry right angry, about to explode here”). It is useful to speak about their physical sensations: “everything inside is tightened, the body shiver, his hands clenched into fists, lips trembling”… as long as you pick the expression will begin to calm down.
And remember, to show his displeasure have not only structurally, but also in time. Unspoken irritation will inevitably grow. And therefore do not accumulate negative emotions. Say that you do not like, and be sure to offer your decision, otherwise any “nothing” will be the impetus for the big Bang.
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