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“Honey, don’t forget to buy bread”: funny jokes about the virtues of family life

"Дорогой, не забудь купить хлеб": смешные приколы о прелестях семейной жизниFunny jokes about the realities of family life you just cheer.

About funny dialogues husbands and wives could write more than one book, because spouses sometimes find themselves wittier professional comedians.

Today we have selected for you a fresh batch of Internet revelations about family life.

— Lucy, why are you my new pants are washed? I mean, they just went.
— M-m-m… Well, a cat in them, too, once went to…

Wife — husband:
— You love football more than me!
— I love you more than bobsled, gymnastics, Curling, synchronized swimming and figure skating together!

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The wife puts on the stove a pot of water, peeling potatoes. Five minutes later yells to her husband in the other room:
— Dear, you light a fire under water.
— A fire?! Underwater?! You think I’m a magician or something?

In the morning the husband tells the wife:
— Honey, I had a wonderful dream, like I’m still single and asking for your hand…
What are you so happy?
— You turned me down…

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Wife comes home and says to her husband:
— Honey, I think you’re gonna be a dad!
The husband turns pale, sits down on a chair and breathlessly said:
— You still told…

The husband calls his wife:
— Honey, I’m in the store, what to take?
— Honey, take the cash!

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