“Another five minutes and get up”: funny jokes from real life

Be positive always and everywhere.

Lift yourself up, read funny short jokes.

We offer you the opportunity to forget about problems with humor.

— Oh, Masha, 10 years no see! You’re so fat that you never know!
— I would love you too do not know, Lucy, if not for your polka-dot dress.

Two friends:
— I was a child there were so many things he loved, but now eat with pleasure.
— Say it right, not in childhood, and to the army.

The tailor adjusted his pants on the client off to the side, looks up and says:
— Believe me, these pants sit on you awesome!
I’m not arguing, but they’re a little tight under the arms.

A fireman asked:
— What is the hardest thing in life you had to put out?
— Hardest to put out a loan for an apartment…

My mother-in-law is constantly coming to visit us the same day and I always look forward to her arrival.
And when she comes to you?
— 29 Feb.

— Doctor, what do I do? Much tired from the TV!
— How sleep?
— Yes, but all dreams are.

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