Laugh not a sin.
A letter to Santa Claus: – Santa Claus, I’m on a diet, so I’m not allowed sweets. Send me, please, a box of semi-sweet.
Put on a white dress, white tights, thought on New year’s snowflake will be. Looked at myself in the mirror Holy shit snow!!!
***
“Dear Grandfather Frost! In that letter, when I asked you to make me big man, I mean, the powerful and wealthy, not weigh 120 pounds.”
Andrew, 35 years.
***
– Vovochka, what do you want to be when you grow up?
– Santa Claus.
Why?
– And che, cool job: a week warning in advance – and the year is free!
***
– Grandfather frost, you last New Year came to us with a drunk girl, washed her hands in the juice, ate all the food in dog bowls, and then, with a cry: “And now in the snow” – was to throw the cabbage! I liked it… come again. Peter, 6 years old.
***
Again I broke off.
– What?
– With the New year.
Thank you. So what is broken?
***
– Want the New year to meet unusually.
– Try to meet sober.
– Not extreme, not love.
***
– Monya, you sho gave his Celia for the New year?
– A fur coat.
– You tell me!!! And she sho gave you?
– As always… Another best year of my life!
***
– So, Peter, the Union arranges a trip to the home of Santa Claus.
Rent for 1000 rubles. You to write?
– Record!
– But why give 500?
– Wife with a child on the New Year goes to my mother-in-law, so I’m only snow white!
***
The year is divided into 2 parts:
In the first half we are waiting for – summer, the second – New year.
***
– Well, what did you decide about the New year?
We decided – let approaches.
– You have already prepared a template for SMS “Thank you! You and happy New Year! And who are you?”
© 2017 – 2019, paradox. All rights reserved.