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To survive a Monday: a selection of great jokes tonight

Пережить понедельник: подборка отличных анекдотов на вечерHow can you not laugh.

These jokes can laugh even in the saddest day of the week.

For anybody not a secret that laughter prolongs life and cures many diseases. Read a selection of the best jokes.

Lord, help me to do with his or her children and remain loving mother, a woman of culture and adequate neighbor.

***

Coming out of the store, eat the bread and drink the kefir on the go. All look like a fool. Would be with a beer and a cigarette, no one did not pay attention to.

***

– Count to three.
– I’d have deleted this line from the summary.

***

– Waiter, what wine would you recommend for my delicate nature?— First, vodka. Secondly, judging by the sophistication, first show me the money.

***

That children do not run after school to smoke, the school was built on the cliff.

***

How can you stand your wife? She’s forever grumbling, nagging, clinging to every detail. She ever is in a good mood?
– Yes, God forbid! When she’s in a good mood, she sings too!

***

Looking for a woman for creation of family. You know how to cook, to dance on the pole, do not drink, do not smoke, up to 25 years, without children and financial problems. About me: Igor.

***

I live in the suburbs. That suburbs, especially live.

***

Not everyone is able to stay in the memory of mankind. Herostratus is just one of those who have this case burned.

***

The husband returned. Wife at him, shouting:
– Why you’re wearing lipstick!!!
– It’s not lipstick, it’s blood, I’m in the entrance of the pipe was hit on the head and robbed!
What is your happiness…

***

– Girl, give me a bottle of “Hennessy” and a jar of black caviar.
– I want a bottle of counterfeit vodka and cottage cheese.
– What Palenque is? asks first customer.

***

– Son, remember, you must always behave like a man.
– Dad, what’s that?
– Go ask your mother, she sets the standards.

***

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