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The positive morning: fresh collection of funny jokes

Утренний позитив: свежая подборка веселых анекдотовBoost your good mood.

We offer you to read short jokes and enjoy moments of laughter and good mood.

Let all the negativity wash away, all the sadness will fade and the sorrow will disappear. Uplifting yourself and your family, through satire and humor.

— How you and your wife spend a weekend?
— On the principle of pliers.
— It’s like?
— Eat and then lie yourself.

The girl is calling in a taxi
— Hello, is this taxi?! I’ve been waiting for your car orange color!
Taxi operator:
— Girl, you have half an hour waits OPEL BLUE…

— You know, Vasya, our neighbor on Thursday, two days before returned from a business trip, caught his wife’s lover and killed him.
— From the fifth apartment?
Yes.
— Could be worse.
— What could be worse?
— If he came back on Wednesday, that would have killed me!

Coming to father little daughter:
— Dad, I know why Baba Yaga said that senses when the Russian spirit smells!
— And why?
— But in the book it is written that when Ivan went, endured six pairs of boots. And nowhere is it written that he changed his socks.

Operator:
— Press the star.
Caller:
— Asterisk is such a hairy point?

— Human stupidity can be used to create a perpetual motion machine.
— How?!
— To put a pen, write on it “do Not twist” — and all…

© 2017, paradox. All rights reserved.

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