“Shob you lived for one salary”: a fresh batch of sparkling Odessa humor

Laughing together!

We all know that the Odessa — people are very cheerful. They don’t lose their composure and sense of humor, even if something goes wrong.

We propose to learn this valuable skill the inhabitants of the famous city.

— I’m not fat! I Abram says I have perfect figure.
— Celia, a mathematician, for him, the ideal shape is a ball.

Moishe:
— Comrade commander, take me into your partisan group.
— You need to pass the test. Here’s a bundle of leaflets to propagate up — take.
After a week Moishe comes back tired and exhausted. Commander:
— How you doin’, what took you so long?
Moshe, taking from his pocket a wad of money:
— Well, tovarets you sold me.

Angry customer restaurant in Odessa:
— Waiter, in your pickle, I caught a cockroach!
The waiter, leaning forward:
— Calm down. You’re lucky. Look at the visitor at the window — he’s still not caught…

— Simon Markovich, I heard your rose now plays the flute, although I always played the piano?
— But still, convinced!
— What’s the difference?
— Playing the piano, she still has an opportunity to sing along yourself!

— Sara, wow, you have beautiful teeth!
— It’s from mom!
— How come!

You know, Sara, I wanted to make an offer…
— Well, finally! Five years you were together.
— Yes here today to offer you… let’s end this for good.

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