Remember, with what begins the novel “Anna Karenina”? “All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. And it’s true: when all is well – we enjoy family, cook dinner together, go to the movies, raise children. And when troubles come – every family is different. The main thing to understand that there is a crisis and try to save the relationship.
The psychologist Darya Sorokacova says that every married couple should experience at least three crises of family life. And if the spouse will be a wise people, they will be able to keep their relationship to the Golden wedding.
According to psychologist, the first crisis would befall the newlyweds in the first six months after the wedding. During this period, both spouses have, as a rule, is a reassessment of values and adapting to a new life. They only start to “get used” to each other, to give something or, on the contrary, in whatever was to insist on. If the spouses fail to find at this time a common language — the relationship is doomed to failure.
The advice of a psychologist. Young people entering into marriage should understand that life will be all: and the quarrels, tears, and misunderstanding. But all these troubles can be overcome. At this stage it is important to better understand each other and make concessions. If both spouses are doing the same thing, in the end, to concede to anyone and don’t have to. Everyone remains in their own interests, but without unnecessary quarrels and scandals.
The birth of the first child may provoke a second crisis of family life. As paradoxical as it may sound, but often the appearance of a long-awaited first child can cause a crisis in relations. The appearance of the baby in the family a lot of stress for young parents. They have not all the skills and know, so the new comes to the house of a man, even the most coveted and long-awaited, makes to family life adjustments. Parents lack of sleep, worry, and all this affects their attitude towards each other.
The advice of a psychologist. Daria Sorokacova advises even before the baby is born to distribute household chores. Parents need to know what and how to do it. Well, if the couple will attend together the courses for pregnant women.
The third crisis that should worry every married couple occurs within 7 years after the wedding. During this period, the couple begin to count their achievements, to compare their position with that of their peers. And if some of their expectations are not met they begin to blame each other. Psychologists believe that this is the most serious crisis. But in fact the cause of the crisis is not the second spouse, and the age. After thirty starts a reassessment of values and for every failure or inconsistency of our own expectations, we are ready to blame anyone but themselves.
The advice of a psychologist. To preserve the family relationship, the couple needs this time to set a new goal to which you want to go together. The joint solution of tasks and problems unite family bonds.
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