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Humor of the day: a fresh batch of funny jokes

Юмор выходного дня: свежая порция забавных анекдотовA selection of funny jokes for good mood.

What helps people cope with difficult situations in life, to survive failures with less emotional turmoil? Forces you to think about any obstacles that arise on the road as possible and easily avoidable? That draws on the face of smile that remains even in the difficult moments of his life? A positive attitude, a positive mood is the answer to these questions.

— You count my Bug eats dry food for adult dogs! And she eats only dry food for puppies…
— Well, you and the family — the father does not allow himself to be called grandpa, sister age reduces each year… Now the dog is young…

— Let’s talk about the meaning of life?
— Do not want.
— Okay, let’s go the long way… Want to drink?

On reception at the doctor:
The doctor to me something is getting worse!
Is you, my dear, running out of money.

Are Peter and Mary in bed. Peter hugged Mary.
— Masha, you’re like a battery!
— The same hot?
— No, ridge.

Guys, congratulate, my son was born!
— Congratulations, congratulations! But as a wife?
— It is not yet know.

This is your “Jaguar” near the entrance is?
— Well, let’s say, my.
— Can I finish?

In the hospital the two men go from corner to corner. One does not maintain and asks:
The boy waiting for?
Girl. She works here as a midwife.

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