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Herringbone, burn!

Елочка, жги!

As the New year meet, so it and spend. Judging by the calendar of the defense Ministry and the gifts from the President, we will hold the 2019 war.

By tradition on New year gifts. Parents — children, bosses — subordinates, the President — people. These gifts not only easy to understand, what was the last year for family, company and country, but guess what’s waiting for us after the strikes chimes.

Vladimir Putin in new year’s eve presented the Intercontinental system “Avangard” with a hypersonic glide winged warheads and drone “Poseidon.” “This is a wonderful, great gift for the country for the New year,” — said the head of state, commenting on the testing of new types of strategic weapons. In General, the rich — and so happy.

The Ministry of culture is also in a hurry with a present for the holiday: 1 January, world Day of peace, on the Russian screens leaves removed while budgetary support of the movie “T-34” — that’s the third year the military situation on the tanks. According to the producer Ruben Dishdishyan, did not stint, because “spectacular, large-scale movie about the Second world war it is impossible to remove cheap.”

But there is still February 23 and may 9, these days is also unlikely to do without a spiritually uplifting movie about war, which more and more like a computer shooting. Nothing wrong with battle video games, where the heroes dozen lives in reserve, and the tanks explode so funny, of course not. But if they, involuntarily thought, so terrible a war as it was depicted in the movie “…the dawns here are quiet”, “ballad of a soldier” and others, shot by Directors-veterans.

Fun and provocatively, with creative calendar celebrates the New year, the Ministry of defense. The Agency, apparently, there are lots of reasons for good cheer. Retirement age military is not raised, and the funding is not cut, and, according to General Sergei Shoigu, “no army in the world there are no such indicators are equipped with modern weapons and military equipment in the Russian armed forces”. So why not a joke? Humor, of course, army — but the calendar is not in the conservatories will hang.

The January page with a picture of an Intercontinental ballistic missile promises to “deliver the goods anywhere in the world.” February — long-range bombers Tu-95MS, one of the symbols of the cold war — points out that “Russian “Bears” in the winter, don’t hibernate”. On the may page of the doshkolnaya marching in uniform is a “preparation for the parade 2033”, so do not relax, citizens who exploit the theme of the great Patriotic war will even your grandchildren. Well and further all in the same fighting spirit, until December, where volleys of tracer rounds illustrate the slogan “Christmas toys, candles and crackers.” Look through this calendar and one can not help recall the famous phrase that war is too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

No less wonderful to believe in the military the construction of the Church. Itself idea of building a giant “of the Main temple of the Russian armed forces” looks, to put it mildly, not too timely in a country where “there is no money, but you hold fast.” And so the idea to produce the steps of this temple of the monster of the captured equipment of the Wehrmacht and completely staggering.

You can instinctively imagine the Russian generals, at the entrance to the temple proudly trampling the remains of German tanks during the Second world war, and then, after prayers, are leaving for dachas on the technique of the modern German car industry. Now, if they own the service “Audi”, “Mercedes” and BMW were allowed to be melted, reseeding on domestic cars, the citizens of their courage, maybe you would. And so the pure pagan. Approximately how to decorate Christmas table “family meal of pork” or to put salads “pig” to in the coming year to live in wealth and contentment. Although much more will come true the sign that the morning after the “seven dishes of pork”, washed down with champagne, will have to suffer the stomach.

With older games in the war games the same story. As taught classics, if in the play on the stage hangs a gun, it must shoot. If making threats to push the nuclear button sooner or later may be a madman who will do it.

If such prospects can be called “a wonderful gift for the New year”, the only scary Christmas tale, where snow white with bunnies and squirrels dressed in camouflage, Christmas trees are decorated with garlands of machine-gun belts, Santa Claus in a red bag warheads, enemy of Santa Claus at the approach to the Russian-Finnish border is exploding an anti-personnel mine, dear Russians eat all this militarism spoonful, nor in denying themselves nothing.

Well, almost anything. After all, the Federation Council adopted, as he called it, Valentina Matvienko, “happy new year” law to increase the minimum wage by as much as 117 rubles. Apparently, the change from “Avant-garde” and “Poseidon”.

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