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A fresh batch of hilarious jokes for a good mood

Свежая порция уморительных анекдотов для прекрасного настроенияLaugh not a sin.

A letter to Santa Claus: – Santa Claus, I’m on a diet, so I’m not allowed sweets. Send me, please, a box of semi-sweet.

Put on a white dress, white tights, thought on New year’s snowflake will be. Looked at myself in the mirror Holy shit snow!!!

***

“Dear Grandfather Frost! In that letter, when I asked you to make me big man, I mean, the powerful and wealthy, not weigh 120 pounds.”

Andrew, 35 years.

***

– Vovochka, what do you want to be when you grow up?

– Santa Claus.

Why?

– And che, cool job: a week warning in advance – and the year is free!

***

– Grandfather frost, you last New Year came to us with a drunk girl, washed her hands in the juice, ate all the food in dog bowls, and then, with a cry: “And now in the snow” – was to throw the cabbage! I liked it… come again. Peter, 6 years old.

***

Again I broke off.

– What?

– With the New year.

Thank you. So what is broken?

***

– Want the New year to meet unusually.

– Try to meet sober.

– Not extreme, not love.

***

– Monya, you sho gave his Celia for the New year?

– A fur coat.

– You tell me!!! And she sho gave you?

– As always… Another best year of my life!

***

– So, Peter, the Union arranges a trip to the home of Santa Claus.

Rent for 1000 rubles. You to write?

– Record!

– But why give 500?

– Wife with a child on the New Year goes to my mother-in-law, so I’m only snow white!

***

The year is divided into 2 parts:

In the first half we are waiting for – summer, the second – New year.

***

– Well, what did you decide about the New year?

We decided – let approaches.

– You have already prepared a template for SMS “Thank you! You and happy New Year! And who are you?”

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