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A day without laughter: great jokes on Monday

Ни дня без смеха: отличные анекдоты на понедельникHow can you not laugh.

For someone winter is the excuse to wear the favorite ski suit and go play in the snow, but for someone – another reason to complain about the cold. No matter who you are: a lover of the summer heat or scratchy cold jokes from Znayu sure laugh all.

– Remember, son: a wise man is always all over the doubt. Only a complete idiot would be absolutely sure.
– Are you sure, dad?
– Absolutely!

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The man at the sorcerer.
– Help to bewitch the girl.
– Well, remember the spell. Come with her to the store of fashionable women’s clothing and say the sacred words: “All on me – take what you want…”.

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Alcohol is for the weak, strong enjoy depression!

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My husband of 50 years. The difference between us in 20 years!
– Oh, congratulations!
– What?
– Well, of course, for their seventy years you look very good.

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– …And the brandy in the theatre you can bring in a bottle from-under “the Asset”. It is opaque!

– Just seen that you’re an avid theater-goer.

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Do you have any weaknesses?

– Excessive straightforwardness.

– I think it is, on the contrary, dignity.

– I don’t care what you think.

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Work is such a quest to buy the products.

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You know how cool all summer to communicate with friends, stay out late, meeting new people, tanning and swimming and just having a good time?

So I do not know.

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Well what do you know about optimism? My neighbor, when washing Windows, always puts in his pocket the keys to the apartment. In case will be thrown out of the window. And we live on the 9th floor.

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So cute that each of you two thinks took the worst girlfriend.

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Pasta with meatballs is just another aggregate state of the dumplings.

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It’s kind of romantic in the Middle ages: chastity belt, lock of love, file of hope…

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– Mom, buy a dog!

– No!

– Please buy!

– I said no! Sell it to someone else!

****

Lately I started to buy too much beer in the store.

God, I hope I’m not a Shopaholic!

****

The main thing I’ve learned in this life: you always need to take a corkscrew and charger.

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